“I learned about this book because it was recommended by the Dean of Student at my son’s college. I found it to be a validating and informative read.
I see that a small number of reviewers are disappointed with the book. I see great value in this work on a number of levels, but I’ll tailor my comments to some of the concerns I saw expressed there.

Some reviewers expressed anger at the author’s snobbery or hypocrisy, or anger because they felt it offered a pertinent message only to upper class audiences. I have read this and watched the author’s TED talks and TEDx talks. It may be that I’m conflating her writing and her speaking, but I didn’t watch the TED talks until after I completed the book. I found her to show admirable humility, not hubris, when she talked about her own forays into overprotective parenting. Her care and concern for our youth strikes me as very genuine.

I don’t know where my family falls on the national socioeconomic spectrum. I think we’re upper middle class. I know we live in a moderately affluent town, in which most students enroll in college after high school graduation (no one’s touting data on whether or not they remain and complete a degree). I know parents that do their kids’ homework and parents that allow their kids to do it on their own. Our family was already operating counter-culturally. We had to sit down with our eldest child’s guidance counselor to explain that we weren’t concerned about building his resume for all those “Tier 1 schools” she was pushing for him. She was shocked that we had concerns on our list beyond the prestige of the schools at which he might be accepted.

I think this book offers value for the time and money for the vast majority of parents. Maybe the college admissions racket isn’t a big concern for you and your child if you have other paths mapped out. But here’s the thing: your child will be living alongside peers for whom the dynamic she describes has been or continues to be very real. Learning about this reality may educate you so that you know to steer your child away from making a lifetime commitment to one of these parent-directed automatons. 

You child will live among these directionless peers, so getting familiar with what makes them tick, or even familiar enough to recognize the dynamic at play, has great value. If nothing else, it may help you and your child to identify strengths you didn’t even know were strengths, because you thought they were basic skills. I assure you, the ability to talk to someone face-to-face and advocate for him- or herself is unique today. Just last night, I listened as a group of employers bemoaned the lack of basic skills in the pool of candidates for their job openings. This dynamic is real. If you and your child have escaped it, rejoice! But forewarned is forearmed, and reading this may offer insight into just how awesome and employable your child is.

I have learned that sometimes we express anger when we are actually feeling defensive. That may not be the case for a single negative reviewer. But if 1,000 people have read the book, I’m sure at least one has reacted this way. This book calls us to step off the competition treadmill. That’s a scary-ass thing to do when you’re afraid it might mean your kid doesn’t “make it.” And she does mention that it’s not unheard of for us parents to let our own egos get in the way. I think she’s actually pretty gentle in her call to common sense, because she acknowledges that none of us “overparent” because we want to screw up our kids. We do it our of care and concern. She pushes us to look at our behavior from another perspective and consider that, in some parenting situations, less is actually more, and more may be too much.” – Boston Mom